Member 1:

What you’re feeling is perfectly natural especially after the break down of a relationship with a child involved. It’s probably going to exhaust you and cause you more anxiety thinking about everything can overwhelm you. Have you got family or friends or someone close that you can speak to about what you are going through. I would also advise speaking to the dr if things are feeling too much and there is talking therapies and counselling. Your concerns around the future and your living arrangements are all valid. I think the main thing is asking for helping or reaching out where you can. A therapist or counsellor may help if money is an issue the GP can arrange some counselling. I would suggest to speak to your GP so you can get some additional help for your mood first. It will be a very up and down journey so everything you are feeling and going through is valid. X

NHS mental health services

NHS Talking Therapies for anxiety and depression

Member 2:

Hi there,

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like an incredibly tough time, and it’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed. As you said, the emotional weight of the breakup is deeply tied up with the stress of housing and parenting, and that can be a lot for anyone to carry.

Member 1 already shared some excellent mental health guidance, which I hope you’re able to lean on when things feel heavy. I just wanted to add a few practical steps around housing and tenancy that might help you feel a little more in control.

1. Check what the tenancy agreement says

A joint tenancy means both tenants are equally responsible for rent and the property. You usually need agreement from both parties or the landlord to make changes.

2. Talk to the landlord or letting agent

Let them know your situation. Some are more flexible and open to helping in these circumstances. You can ask about transferring the tenancy into your name, ending the joint tenancy early if everyone agrees, or starting a new tenancy in your name if you plan to stay.

3. If you’re married and splitting

You may have home rights even if your name isn’t on the tenancy. You can register your home rights with the council or landlord which gives you legal protection. Legal advice can help you work out longer-term housing through a separation or divorce agreement.

4. If you’re not married (cohabiting)

You still have options. If your name is on the tenancy, you can stay or try to arrange a new agreement with the landlord. If your name isn’t on the tenancy, you may need to look at starting a tenancy in your own name. Some local councils can support you in this situation.

Useful resources:

Shelter (free housing advice)

Citizens Advice (housing and benefit help)

Turn2Us (financial support and grants)

Others in this group I’m sure have been in a similar situation, feeling scared, sad, and unsure of how to move forward. You’re allowed to take things one step at a time. You don’t need to have it all figured out right now.

Member 3:

I’m sure most of us have felt anxiety when our relationship has broken down and we are facing divorce and single parenthood.  It is a huge life changing situation with so many serious repercussions so it is normal to worry.   Do you have any trusted close friends to talk with as bottling up those feelings is not helpful – worries need to be aired and more than ever we need to know someone cares.  If you can, getting some legal advice (citizen’s advice or some solicitors offer a free initial consultation) to look at the practical way forwards.  It’s the uncertainty which is so difficult to live with so getting some understanding of the reality is always helpful.

Also, see if there’s any free local NHS talking therapy services (check with the GP or your local Integrated Care Board) you may be able to self refer.

Also joining ASPN (this organisation) is a great help – as we are or have been through these issues – the meet ups are a huge boost for you and your children!  Good Luck!

Member 4:

Regarding the rental, it is good to perhaps do plain maths of what your income is and what are the expenses and rent in the area.

I have massively struggled with anxiety and meditation has helped me to a very good extent.

A sample, I have been doing other guided meditation from the same gentleman for more than a year now (and I started as a novice).

Lastly, Hang in there – this too shall pass !!

Member 5:

I’ve been where you are — not just anxious, but completely shattered. For me, it happened when my baby was just 3 months old. I didn’t just lose a relationship; I lost the version of life I thought we were building together. It wasn’t mutual. It wasn’t gentle. It was abandonment at my most vulnerable.

So no — it’s not just about ‘focusing on yourself.’ It’s about surviving when your world is falling apart and you still have to hold your child, feed them, soothe them, while you’re breaking inside.

What got me through wasn’t some magical shift — it was small steps. One week, one day, even one hour at a time. Ask yourself: ‘What can I do today to feel even 1% safer?’ That’s enough.

Start looking for a safe place — even if it’s just a room with a kind family. 

Check if you’re eligible for any government support — housing, childcare, benefits. 

Ask. Research. Don’t hesitate. 

If you’re not working yet, gently start looking, depending on your baby’s age and what feels manageable.

Talk to people — friends, family, even colleagues. You never know which conversation might open a door. You don’t have to do it all alone — you just have to be open to help.

You can grieve and survive — both at once.

You will get through this. You’re allowed to fall apart and still find your way forward.

We all pass through difficult days. Just focus on one day at a time.

Brick by brick, it will come together — a new life, on your terms.

Sending you hugs and strength your way. You’re not alone in this. 

Member 6:

This is so hard, and recognising that it’s hard is the very first step.

Acknowledging your bravery and your pain.

I am in the process of my divorce and got made redundant. I understand the anxiety and fear.

I found the following things have helped me. 1.Allowing myself space to grieve. 

2. Seek the support of a counsellor. 

3. Looking practically at the things that frighten me about the financials. I have a day a week where I spend 30mins to actually sit down with myself and look at my accounts, make my budgets, look at the shortfalls, and then create a plan, pinpoint where I would need support, and then really ask for it.

Remember to breathe and know that you are smart, and there is support out there for you. You are not alone.

Member 7:

It’s an imposter syndrome, sounds like the unknown is weighing so heavy.  It’s such a big change and a grief process that occurs. 

Even in the most difficult of splits you can still miss the old life or the partner, i.e what they represent- a whole family. 

Have they considered counselling or peer support?

Member 8:

Very common to feel like this. The first few months are the hardest. But it gets easier with time. Speak to a GP to get medication for the short term and maybe start talking therapy to get over the anxiety. 

Member 9:

If it’s too much anxiety and you can’t focus on anything, better speak to a GP. If they suggest to take anti anxiety pills there is no harm to take for 6 months until you feel better.